these evenings of enlightenment. since when do i need you?
just. when i think the inside happy is gone. and there is nothing but heavily condensed air. it rains. hard. and the lightening and the thunder connects me to..everything. and dancing in the rain at night. and then going inside and still having the water in my hair and on my skin. soaking it in. and. going into my room where everything disappears except shadows in the light from the street.
and moving. like i've never moved before. motherfucking spectacular.
im back from new york and atlantic city. it sucked. i made a friend.
i went to a show with michelle cos she didnt go to the converge one. it was good. because. she put her bag on the stage while we were waiting. and then. it was just kind of. resting on the stage. and then the band was setting up. and the guy put his mic on her bag kind of. and he was. holding onto it while he was singing. and then michelle decided she wanted her bag. and pulled at it. and the mic flew out of his arms. and he lost his balance. and fell off the stage. and no one caught him. and he was hurt. and then i stepped on him.
things would be different if i were in charge. i want the day to end.
i've had close to no sleep in the past 2 weeks. and then saturday korin and i pulled an all nighter. we were up till 5 fighting with andrew and making recordings. and then. we did other random stuff till she left at half past noon. last night i went to bed at like 2 and woke up at 5 cos im an idiot and i do stupid things like that.
today i learned about soca. and since soca is basically fucking-with-your-clothes-on-dancing-music i learned about whining. which is basically grinding with more of a flow. its kind of icky. i dont...do that stuff. blah. its interesting to know about anyway. i can see nicole in a hip hop club. just. grinding away. oh my god. *rubs eyes* i never want to think about that again.
deutschland (has gotta die!) is a fucking crazy song. sheat.
i dont know what i want. this makes things difficult.
i cant believe how bored i am. its not like how i was bored every single day when there was school cos that kind of bored didnt even completely suck. that was ...im bored. oh well. this is...im so bored i wish i could even sneeze right now so that i would have something to do for a second or two. yes. and. i've just written lines about. different kinds of boredom. *lame but it shows just how terribly bored i am*
right. today sucked completely. im so very sick of certain people. i've managed to kind of get some space from most people. but. gah. its really not enough. cos. some people go away. and you're all. thank goodness! people have gone away! but then. other people come along. and they're cool for a few days. and then. they're just not. i met michelle though. she's neat. and i like her. muchly.
korin is coming tomorrow. to spend the weekend. i like korin. she likes to terrorize people. we'll um. go to the plaza.
im going to have to clean my room. i went to bed at 1am. and woke up at 1.15am cos a mosquito was sucking the blood out of my face. right on the side. by my eye. fucking asshole. so then. i got up and swung my pillow around for a good 5 minutes in the pitch darkness hoping i had gotten rid of it. but. whenever i put my head back down. it came near my face/head. and the buzzing creeped me out. and i kept thinking it was going to fly into my ear and then travel into my head. and i was sleepy. so i got up. and went to my mum's room. i think she was confused. but. oh well. sleep is good. i dont think im going to get any this weekend...aie.